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God’s order calls for man and woman to become united first in spirit
By: Sigve Vacation in Norway
God’s order calls for man and woman to become united first in spirit, then in soul and finally in body.

Spiritually Intimacy
The object is for the man and woman to get to know each other so that they are able to share freely with each other the working of God in their lives. That being the goal it’s absolutely essential that both be Christians.
Amos 3:3 Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?
1 Corinthians 2:14 (New International Version)
14The man without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him, and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.
2 Corinthians 6:14 (New International Version)
Do Not Be Yoked With Unbelievers
14Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
Should Christians date non-Christians to try to lead them to Christ? NO. Christians should witness to non-Christians but not in a dating situation. And they should be careful about dating persons whom they have won to the Lord, because non believers have been known to make false professions of faith just to get opportunity to date a certain Christian.
When two growing, maturing Christians date, the foundation is set for genuine spiritual oneness. Otherwise unhappiness or trouble later is forthcoming. Dating is the phase of life in which you can learn how to get to know people of the opposite sex intimately on the spiritual level. All involved should benefit.

Mental and Emotional Intimacy
Intimacy of Sol. Soul involves three aspects: intellect, emotions and will. One must have achieved spiritual oneness before soul oneness. Otherwise they lack a proper foundation. Soul oneness entails planning together for a future that the man and woman intend to share. Learning to share their deepest likes and dislikes as they contemplate living and working together.

Physical Intimacy
Involves body and sexual relations. This is reserved for marriage in God’s order of things. The first two prepare the couple for this closest and complete intimacy-physical oneness.
Ephesians 5:3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people.
1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee immorality. Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body, but the immoral man sins against his own body.
Mark 10:7-8 (New International Version)
7'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,[a] 8and the two will become one flesh.'[b] So they are no longer two, but one.

Standards of Dating
- You are mature enough to date when you realize that the true purpose of dating is to prepare you for engagement and marriage.
- When you have worked out from the Bible a set of standards to live by during dating.
- When you can say to yourself that you have committed yourself to follow these standards and never compromise them, no matter what the cost.
- When conviction stops you from dating non believers regardless of whether the non believer is a good person or not.
- Build your dating around God’s purpose. Genesis 2:18 (New International Version) 18 The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." As helper, the woman is not merely standing by her man, handing him a wrench when he needs it. The use of this particular Hebrew word means that he is inadequate without her. To help here means “to share the same tasks.”
- Avoid physical involvement.
- Yield all rights to God. Psalm 27:14 (New International Version) 14 Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.


The heart of her husband has confidence in her,
And he has no lack of gain.
She brings him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:11-12

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